I’ve already written about the week that was almost lost. What I didn’t realize was that it was becoming a thing with this 70 Days of Summer project.

As the summer comes closer to an end, I find myself more hesitant to document the days. I take less pictures. I write less. I’ve all but quit organizing the photos I have taken. I have fallen back to using my phone to take pictures and then rely on my photo grid app to put them together. I’ve become lazy.

Or have I?

A while back I was talking to my mom about whatever plans we had for the coming week, expressing some frustration about something, I don’t remember what, but in a moment of self-conscious awareness, I called out how silly whatever it was. Mom thought for a minute and reassured me it wasn’t silly. Then she said out loud what I haven’t admitted during all this.

I’m fighting time.

Hatchling #2 starts kindergarten this year. In eight days. Next week. And I’m painfully in denial. For several reasons. No one told me it actually might get harder after you send your first one off to school. I should be used to this. I’ve been through it. Twice if you count Hatchling #1’s preschool in Chicago and then kindergarten here, which I do.

I know he’ll be fine. I’m happy that H#1 finally has a sibling to go to school with her. I know H#2 is ready to learn from someone other than me. I get that H#3 will benefit from having some time focused solely on him.

But it’s been five-and-a-half years since I only had one Hatchling. I’m used to having two or more. At least a duo to work off each other. The nest is emptying. And I’m not ready.

I get that I have three more years of H#3 at home before he starts kindergarten. I know that I’m a long way from an empty nester. I understand that I’ll be fine and any anticipation and anxiety I have about a situation is usually worse than the experience itself. I know many people will find this silly.

But I don’t care. Eight days. Next week.