Voices in my head

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December 15, 2012 by themommahen

This little light of mine...

This little light of mine…

“You put out, like, 17 status updates on Facebook today,” marveled The Husband.

I couldn’t help it.

I didn’t mean to.

I was simultaneously drowning in words and thoughts while rendered speechless.

I was thinking in all caps and exclamation points.

I didn’t want to watch and read, yet hope for good news wouldn’t let me stop watching and reading.

I only wanted to be with my kids but tears kept forcing me to run away.

I wanted to be silent because the moments were loud enough without me adding to it, but my silence was deafeningly suffocating to me.

I wanted to scream at the idiots who thought it was good journalism to interview children in their single-digit years after a real-life nightmare, but I was tired of all the screaming.

I wanted to help, because that would help me, but I was helpless.

I wanted to gather and huddle with the teachers and parents at school pick-up but it wasn’t the right time or place and I wanted my baby home.

I needed to not feel alone, because in times of tragedy, alone can be the loneliest feeling.

So, thanks for being there for me.

Hopefully we can all be there for each other. For them.

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Run run Rudolph! Almost time for the #reindeerrun! I'm thinking after my mood this week, perhaps I should try this. #calm #magnesium #doesthisreallywork How excited do you think these kids are getting ready to be at pickup? #snow #ChathamNC #ncweather #ncwx One of my favorite holiday traditions is to shoot down mistletoe, but this year the kids are taking it to a whole new level! #Christmas #tradition #holidays #crafts #mistletoe

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