Mommy’s Mad at Daddy–AGAIN

2

December 2, 2011 by themommahen

What say ye: Are you constantly mad at your spouse? Is your spouse constantly mad at you? CNN recently posted a study (and Denise Cortes wrote a funny piece about it at BabyCenter’s Momformation–check out the comments!) showing that Moms are increasingly mad at Dads about their involvement, or lack thereof, in parenting. Interesting stats from the article:
–46% of moms get irate with their husbands once a week or more.
–40% of moms are mad that Dad can’t multitask. And the more kids they have, the madder they are: 46 percent of moms with three-plus kids are irked by this.
–50% of moms tell us their husbands get more time for themselves.

Unfortunately, this article doesn’t do much to quell the ongoing debate of male vs. female parenting duties. And I’m sure The Husband has some interesting points on this conversation from his perspective. My personal experience? Yes, I obviously do more of the parenting duties because I’m now a stay at home Mom. But when I worked full time outside the home, I still did more of the duties, and sometimes I felt overwhelmed or a bit alone in that regard, but I would never voice it the way the article does (unless it was a particularly bad day and I was with close sympathetic girlfriends). Why?

Because in part, I’d hate to hear what The Husband’s complaints about me are. And because some of the “burden” (air quotes here because I don’t think parenting is a burden) I take on is my own doing — ask The Husband how many times he concedes to doing something my way, rather than his. Or how, when I am giving baths, brushing teeth and doing bedtime he is in the kitchen cleaning up after supper, folding laundry, or straightening toys. And finally because I know he has other things on his plate.

I don’t mean to sound like we live in an unrealistic world or that we’re gushing gratitude to each other all the time. Or that I don’t need (Want/need? Which is it?) more “me” time. That’s not the deal. I guess today I’m just in a gracious enough mood to recognize that we all (most of us anyway) do our part. And sometimes we’re harder on our spouse than we would be if, say, you were counseling a friend. Of course, it helps that The Husband and I are both pretty fiery (Aries meet Cancer) so there’s not much held back between us. That can make for some pretty loud and intense, umm, discussions, but we usually get our shizzle out on the table.

That doesn’t mean I don’t fume sometimes when he’s sitting on the couch playing Hanging with Friends, but Pot, meet Kettle. Kettle likes to hang out on Facebook more than Pot. Or Pot likes to hang out more than Kettle. I forget who is who in this awkward analogy, but you get my drift. So to all the sistahs out there who have good partners but get irate once a week, I feel you. But I betyou feel me too. And to all the good husbands and dads out there, we love ya, but sometimes you’re just, from Mars. And to the parents/spouses (regardless of gender) who aren’t pulling their weight? Grow up, put on your big girl or boy pants and get to work.

How are things in your world? Am I Pollyanna?

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2 thoughts on “Mommy’s Mad at Daddy–AGAIN

  1. Anonymous says:

    Hiya “Momma Hen”! 🙂

    I wanted to let you know I discovered you through NaBloPoMo (what a great promotional tool that is!), and enjoyed what I found here. As a result, I wanted to let you know I have awarded you the Liebster Award. You can read about what it is here http://educational-anarchy.blogspot.com/2011/11/showing-some-love.html, and find my write-up of all my nominees at http://jaguwar.wordpress.com/2011/12/03/my-new-favorite-word-huzzah/

    Thanks for blogging all month long. Yeah yeah, thanksgiving wrecked the plan… who cares! You did great, and it was fun to read you. 🙂

  2. Larisa Spillman says:

    Ohmigosh! How cool-my first blogging award ever. Thanks-I'll be responding in kind ASAP!

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